Two Purls

Proof is in the pictures

Aw, thank you all so much for the kind messages. Baby G was born at 5:53 am weighing 4 lb 9 oz. I don't know how long he is. He is perfectly formed, very sweet, and looks kind of French. He will be in the NICU for a few days, possibly for the week, while his breathing improves and the fluid in his lungs clears up. There is suspicion of infection as well so we are waiting for some blood culture results tomorrow which will tell us more. The premature rupture of my membranes (PROM)  is the likely culprit if this is the case. According to the neonatologist, these are all typical pre-term or PROM baby issues and will resolve without problems.

It's still hard to sit in my hospital room without my sweet baby next to me, but all good things in time, right? He continues to look better and better, and now that I have held him in my arms and we looked at each other I am feeling better about everything and am confident that we will all be home snuggling together in no time.

Baby G is still unnamed, but today has been officially dubbed Naming Day so by nightfall this baby should be called something other than Baby.  Due to his French look, we have briefly tossed out the possibility of Pierre or Jean Luc, but figure that might be a little much especially if the French look wears off after a few weeks. But we have other good candidates on the short list, so hopefully one will fit him well.

A couple thoughts on birthing without any medication except Cervadil to help dilation and increase contractions: exciting, excruciatingly painful, empowering, utterly and completely unforgettable. I am woman and yesterday I roared. (Seriously.) If you happened to be on the Upper West Side in Manhattan around Columbus Circle early yesterday morning and looked up into a hospital room without the curtains closed, yes, that was me standing naked on a bed in front of the window yelling my head off while in the final throes of some very painful contractions. Hope that you enjoyed the show. :-)

Overall, though, I'm glad I did it. I'm not sure I will try it again.

So...do you want some pictures?! Thought maybe... Photo album is in the sidebar. We'll keep it updated.

Baby is a'coming!

YOWZERS - we're having a baby! (like, today I think)

My water broke this morning at 8:20 am...but labor still hasn't kicked in. We are hanging out at home waiting for contractions and starting some home remedies, but I'll be heading to the hospital this afternoon if it doesn't go anywhere.

Yesterday we had the follow-up level II sonogram yesterday and he grew and is all in proportion. He still measures a couple weeks behind (33 weeks gestation), and I'm preterm at this point anyway, so he might be a tad on the small side. Any healthy baby vibes you can send this way will be greatly appreciated.

I will ask Cara to update her blog with any future news, since I assume I might be a tad occupied for the next couple days.

Damn...a baby....hard to believe, really.

House Renovation Update

Our home renovation is, for the most part, complete. It's a miracle. A miracle that has taken a full 12 months. That's 3 months longer than the average time for life to be created and birthed. And (from my still-pregnant state) a gadzillion times more difficult. BUT IT'S DONE!

Read a brief rundown and see some 'before-and-after' pics at done in six months..., our pathetic excuse for a home renovation blog.

Yippee! It's done!!

Rx: no knitting?!

About a week or so ago my arms started going numb and I began having severe pain from the shoulders to the fingertips when I lie down. Knitting, typing, grasping, and all that has been, for the most part, unaffected.  Sleeping has been terribly affected and the poor hubby is awakened several times a night by me wildly swinging my arms around, wailing "my arms, my arms, there's something wrong with my arms". This has been slightly alleviated by my half-successful attempts at sleeping while sitting propped up on the couch, since the problem is not nearly as severe when I'm vertical.

So when Cara, Vickie and I met up for lunch on Monday I mentioned this to them, and Cara prescribed her successful treatment of bracing the wrist by night and eating Junior Caramels by day. Vickie just said that during her pregnancies her carpal tunnel syndrome got really bad toward the end and in fact it never fully went away after delivery. But she still knits beautiful things, so that's all I cared about. Besides knitting doesn't hurt!

Well, yesterday was Thursday which meant another dr appointment. I brought up the arm thing and, in her opinion, the swelling of late pregnancy combined with fluid retention at night (I'm so freaking active during the day, there's no settling of fluid until I lie down apparently), is causing compression on some already sensitive nerves. In fact, before we decided to get pg, I was taking some nerve medication for an issue that is probably flaring up again. So she offered me the option of (1) seeing a neurologist (uh, no thanks - don't have the time) or (2) quit knitting, limit computer time, take tylenol, elevate arms when asleep, and brace the wrist. So I'm going with option #2 - although I told her that it will fully be her fault that the baby will now have just one of the Ugg Baby Bootie set I started.

I'm still thinking that it can't hurt *much* if I knit every now and then...it does help maintain the sanity and all.  And I'm going out to buy Junior Caramels by the boatload. It's worked for someone else...

Rhinebeck by proxy

From reading the blogs, Rhinebeck sounds like it was loads of fun - even with the torrential rain and laborious trips  many people endured to get there. Yesterday I was regaled by stories by Cara and Vickie over lunch before Vickie headed off to the airport. The wood story was quite funny - although both Cara and Vickie enjoyed my naive non-response that involved a blank look as I wondered (aloud?) just how nice the wood felt. Now, lest I be accused of being *too* innocent, being in the third trimester, anything related to sex is just about the last thing on my mind (oh, and I'm lusting after a spinning wheel for Christmas this year, so it was a completely reasonable response).

I will, however, share a slightly embarrassing  story that does hint at my rather wide-eyed, naivete when it comes to certain acts that might be considered something of a scandalous nature. Before we were dating, my husband and I were part of a close circle of friends who happened to work together. One of those "how-sexually-experienced-are-you" quizzes was going around and we all decided to take the test and compares scores. I was shocked to find that I had the highest score, especially just having ended a five year relationship where I was not exactly out having wild escapades. This curious group who knew me quite well was sure that either I had been hiding an inner wild child from them or (more likely) I didn't understand the questions.

They started going through the quiz orally, jumping right to the big-scorers, like had I ever (warning: graphic definition linked here) tossed a salad. And, immensely enjoying many kinds of more traditional salads  in the culinary sense, I had marked yes, thinking this question on a sex test must reveal those characteristics along the lines of a person's propensity toward creativity, variety, and good food (all which might be considered something of a sensual nature, right?). Oh this wasn't the only question which I had completely misinterpreted, and once my score was re-tallied I came out on the bottom tier of those sexually-non-adventurous people. Then my friends deducted points for not having understood the questions in the first place, and I think my score went negative. My now-husband once joked that it was at this moment that he decided he would one day marry me. ~ Ahem ~

So onto some knitting - I really did start knitting again. Tiny projects, but a gal's got to start somewhere. Here's a pic of the cabled baby hat knit out of the Plymouth Yarn Deambaby D.K., which is 50% acrylic, 50% nylon. It matches these booties that I knit a couple years ago and found stashed at the bottom of my Lantern Moon knitting basket when we moved last month.

Next up is yet another baby hat - and as I mentioned, it matches the hat I made for myself two winters ago. This little one is a bit chunky, knitted up on size 9 needles using Katia Reno Plus (81% wool, 7% mohair, 7% acrylic, and 5% nylon), and I think I'll leave it sans-pompom.

Still to come is a pic of the baby jacket knit using the Four Play silk/wool mix from Brooks Farm. It's all seamed, but I've changed my mind on the buttons and need to get new ones sometime next week before it is fully complete. Before I sign off, though, a picture of the snoozing pug Oscar from Sunday. It's been a while since his last blog appearance, so here he is hanging out on the front stoop, waiting for us to finish moving stuff around the house so he can go back to his temporary safe-zone (aka the condo down the street that we are renting). I know I'm biased, but he's a cutie, no?

First step in motherhood: worrying

I mentioned in yesterday's post that I was going in for some tests on the baby today. I figured it would be one of those put-yer-mind-at-ease kind of mornings where I get to see the baby, the dr tells me how super-fabulous he is (having exceeded all known obstetric expectations, of course), and then I top it off by treating myself to a half-caf-double-caramel-macchiato from the ubiquitous Starbucks.

But things aren't that easy. Background: a couple weeks ago I worked a bit too hard on some community stuff and probably got a little dehydrated, resulting in minor contractions every 9-10 minutes. I drank a lot of water, lay down to rest, and they went away in 2 hours. I mentioned this to my OB at the next appointment, and seeing that I was still having problems gaining weight during this pregnancy (I've only gained 9 pounds in 32 weeks), she decided to refer me over for a level II ultrasound to check on the baby's growth, a non-stress test, and an amniotic fluid check. Which is what I was busy doing this morning.

Results? Baby's head measured ahead of schedule, abdomen measured on target, but all four limbs measured a full 3 weeks behind - a possible indication that something might be wrong. Specifically, achondroplasia - dwarfism.  Of course it was too early to jump to conclusions, and they wanted to check me again in 1-2 weeks. After receiving this news, I was sent to the non-stress test (yeah right) where I promptly had 3 measurable contractions on the monitor. Verdict: drink water, relax, lie down, talk with your OB, come back in two weeks for another round of testing. What I do instead: burst into tears, freak out via cell phone on my poor hubby who is stranded by bad weather in North Carolina, and run over to my OBs office for an immediate consult.

My OB, the most wonderful OB alive, promptly hugs me, starts gathering information from the perinatologist I just left, and then offers me an immediate 2nd opinion by a different peri at a different hospital. So I get in the car and drive over to the other hospital. Where things go much better - not perfect, but better. The baby is measuring a little behind on all fronts, not just the limbs. Which means he's still normal, just on the small side. So the prescription is the same: come back in two weeks, take it easy, eat more...but there is no longer this specter of a disease looming over this baby. And his mama feels a smidge better.

Yesterday I mentioned to a friend the brief fleeing feeling of worry I had about how the tests would go and how I will be relieved when this baby is finally born so that the worry ends. He reminded me that I signed up for a lifetime of worry - not 9 months. How true that is...

Through the worry and tears today I was very glad to have my knitting with me - although I was so distracted my stitches probably ended up getting tinked as much as getting knitted. But it reminded me how good it feels to let those fingers fly when sitting in an uncomfortable chair worrying about things over which we have no control. I will be sure to have it with me in two weeks at the growth recheck.

So my blog sucks,

along with my knitting, and - sometimes - life in general.

Okay, so this is going to be a fully honest pity post that I promise will end on an uplifting note. It's been a rough few months emotionally. Practically half my life has been rough emotionally, but like most people I know who struggle with moods, we get through it. But combine an enormous 12-month long house renovation that I have personally managed, a miscarriage that wouldn't end, the death of my grandmother, a subsequent successful pregnancy, and facing my future as a mother having been a daughter who was poorly mothered (understatement of the year), well I've been managing a great deal of anxiety and pre-partum depression. The midwife who works with my OB found me a really great therapist who deals primarily with pre- and post-partum depression, though, and I'm getting through it. One thing that has helped enormously and which I am now a steadfast believer in, is light therapy.  At any rate, things are looking up and I am feeling a bit more ready to attempt these things called birth and parenting. The two things that have fallen by the wayside over the past 10 months or so have been my knitting and my blogging.

But things are looking up. For one, today marks the last day of our home renovation. Yes, the last full day of whole-house work. Sure there will be small projects here and there, but no more of the all-encompassing construction site that we attempted to live in or around over the past 12 months. Acutally, though, about two months ago we moved out of the house and into a friend's condo on the same street. Daily routine had become too hectic at our house, and we were facing another serious round of fumes, dust, and all that not-healthy stuff for a gestating person to be around (or any person, for that matter). So, this weekend we move back home and what a relief it will be to unpack. The trade-off is missing Rhinebeck Sheep and Wool 2005, but I'm already planning my 2006 trip. Unpacking will be SUCH a relief - my personal belongings like family portraits and such have been boxed and in storage for more than two years now. So this will be like greeting old friends and *finally* settling into our home. Not to mention the wonderful prospect of decorating a nursery to welcome our baby home in less than two months.

So last week I started to knit again and quickly made a light blue cabled baby hat to go with these booties that I knit a couple years ago.  And today I started another baby hat using some cream/blue/gray Katia Reno Plus yarn from a scarf that finally got frogged last night. I used this same yarn to knit myself this hat, so as corny as it it, the baby and I will have matching hats. Trust me, though - I'm not into the matchy-match look so we will have to alternate days on which we wear our respective hats around the neighborhood.

The Brooks Farm baby jacket is also 95% finished - it needs some buttons sewn on and the underarm/sides seamed. Pictures to come once I get on that finishing, which will hopefully be next week.

I had planned to knit a baby blanket for this guy. In fact, I wrote about this in my last post, having bought the yarn for a baby blanket at the 2004 Stitches East. But right now there is no energy for a baby blanket and to tell the truth, the two starts I've had on the Superwash Merino from Tess Yarns just leaves me feeling like there's something *lacking* with the yarn. It's received rave reviews, but -eh- it's just not doing it for me. So upon learning that my wonderful friend Cara is knitting this little one a more fabulous, more luxurious, super-special baby blanket, I'm going to put mine aside and focus on just finishing up the smaller projects that are already sitting on my needles. Thanks so much, sweet Cara!

Hope that explains my absence a bit. I miss you all. I miss knitting. I miss my house. And my relaxed happiness. But life is making a turn here, and it's one for the better. Tomorrow I go in for some tests on the baby and will get to see him on ultrasound again. Having a peek inside makes this baby-growing process seem more concrete, which is always nice...