Friendships

We are all feeling better here at Chez G.  X seems back to 100% and I'm almost there myself. Almost because although I've caught up on that much-needed sleep, the cough is just hanging in there.

This weekend I had a couple wonderful treats from friends - Cara brought me along to a spinning group and although I was the lone non-spinner, it was relaxing to watch the rhythmic movement of feet and hands of others. And after nearly being killed by this maniacal flock of pigeons who were only seconds away from pecking out eyes out before we managed to flee into the yarn store, we needed relaxation. (Dude, WTF was up with the scary pigeons, anyway?!)

Since I do not have a wheel, I decided to start knitting a new soaker, using some wool that my SIL brought back from their family's trip to Norway this past summer. I'm not sure what kind of wool this is, but it's quite rough and just really not meant to be a soaker so I'll be ripping it out. The yarn label says PT3 - I've never seen it in local stores. The way it feels in my hands, though, makes me think it will be perfect for felting, perhaps a cell phone cozy?

The other wonderful treat came in the form of a get-well care package from my long-time friend Heather:

Yes, that is wonderful Scharffen Berger chocolate (Heather's favorite), some super-duper vitamins and minerals to mix with hot water (how did she know that I had just run out of these little gems?!?), and some much-needed spa treats that I will be trying out tonight once the little one is asleep.

Heather and I have known each other for 16 years now, ever since we were sophomores at the same all-girls Catholic school. Senior year we became close friends and have been through some interesting adventures together - including rescuing an abducted 5-year old girl and spending the night outside San Quentin prison to protest California's reinstatement of the death penalty with the execution of Robert Alton Harris. Heather and I have the kind of friendship that, no matter how long it has been when we last chatted, we can pick up as though it were just yesterday we were sitting at the local coffee shop before class, drinking coffee. I miss her tremendously, but know she's just a phone call (or, if things get really rough, a 4 hour plane ride!) away. So it was an extra special treat to find this package on our doorstep this weekend.

While reflecting on friendships this week I started to wonder if I am as good a friend as the ones I am so blessed to have in my life. I've blogged about this before, but my friend Marsha is battling stage IV ovarian cancer and has been for over a year now. She made it through an enormous surgery in November of 2004 and went through round after round of chemotherapy. I was supposed to be her "chemo buddy" that winter, but was sidelined with the miscarriage and couldn't make her first few rounds and although Marsha more than understood I felt pretty crappy about that. Cara (sweet Cara that she is!) even knit Shedir for her to help keep her head warm when she lost her hair that winter. So, this weekend Marsha called to ask if I could accompany her to tomorrow's appointment here in NYC where she is taking part in an experimental drug trial. What I would give to be able to say yes, but I had to say maybe - with the bronchitis and coughing I was hesitant to be around her and the others there, what with their compromised immune systems. Tonight, still coughing, I had to tell her that I won't be there tomorrow. And so I feel like crap and go back to wondering if I will ever be as good a friend to those friends who are good to me.

New topic - 2006 resolution update. Number 2 (the organization of X's closet) was accomplished this weekend, which means I am now 1 step closer to a spinning wheel! Before and after pictures later this week.

Comments

[Karen]

So glad to read that you and Xavier are feeling better. I agree that while you want to be there in person with Marsha it's best to stay home, at least for now. I hope Marsha's treatment goes well.

There are before and after pictures coming of X's closet? Before and after pictures are so much fun. Take care.

[ann]

I want to add that I agree with everything everyone else has written!

[Rebekah]

You are a good friend to consider your friend's health and the jeopardy you might put her and others at the facility in since your ill. Sometimes not doing something hurts as much, but the fact that your considerate of her health is a big thing.

I'm sure she understands, although I know she'll miss your company.

[Carole]

We did some big time reorganizing this weekend, too. Must be something in the air.
As for the friendship thing, I think you should read all these comments carefully. People are telling you that you are a wonderful friend. That's what matters. Don't be so hard on yourself.

[Vicki]

I have a friend like Heather -- it's one of the most special things in my life; you and I are very lucky.

All these people are right, Jen. Friendship is measured in so many ways. I think Marsha knows that you're there for her, even if you can't physically be there. You're doing the right thing by not compromising her health or that of those around her.

Your friends know that your most important work is at home right now, taking care of your beautiful family.

[Heather]

I am so glad you liked the package. You are, without question, the best kind of friend. I had forgotten about that night at San Quentin. I probably wouldn't have done that without you. You bring out the good in people.

[Cara]

If it makes you feel any better, you really made ME feel better on Sunday. And I always know that if I need you, you're only a phone call away.

I know you want to be there for Marsha, but right now you need to take care of yourself and Xavier. It's been a rough couple of months and you need to slow down before you get yourself sick again.

[ashley]

I have these feelings of being a so-so friend all the time. bu, I also agree with Lauren! You are a great friend!! {{hugs}} glad you're all feeling better.

[Lauren]

I don't think you need to be somewhere physically for someone to know you're a great friend to them. Don't be so hard on yourself!